having a meltdown

I'm SO sick of this...clearly I haven't stuck to my plans and all I wanna do is just bury VCE into a pit =__= I'm *doing* work but NONE of it feels productive. I spend 2 hours memorising half my Japanese oral, and forget it all the next day. HOW IS THAT FAIR? Plus I hand in some work to my English tutor thinking I'm awesome because I've actually made the effort to TRY and she gives it back to me telling me that it's not bad, but it's not good either...so its like I wasted my time yet again. Don't even get me started on how I should tackle Chem/Psych, I don't even know where to fricken start...

UMAT was an absolute failure, no chance of doing undergrad med, but that's totally cool with me...sorts out my preference dilemma anyway :P Until dad started adding the pressure and being all like "so you'll do biomed, and then do med right? so if you do science, will that take you to med? how many years before you can study med?". WELL YES I *DO* WANNA DO MED AT SOME POINT IN MY LIFE, BUT IF YOU KEEP TALKING LIKE THIS MAYBE I DON'T WANNA DO IT ANYMORE HUH!

So I got over that pretty quick aha, until today when the topic of VCE just WOULD NOT leave the dinner table. So I ran away and had a cry/vented to a few friends - girls definately being the more comforting of the 2 genders haha.

I just hope all this pressure/stress/work/emotional instability is worth that stupid 4 digit number on Dec 13th

xo

"study vacation"

After x number of weeks since year 12 began, there's only 6 weeks until exams and I am SO RUNNING OUT OF STEAM :( It's so hard to just keep pushing on, knowing that you've *cough* worked so hard all year and there's only that liiiiittle bit to go...but...still, I'm suffering from a massive case of I CANNOT BE BOTHERED!

Plan for the next few weeks is 3 practice exams per day - 1 methods a day, 1 chem a day and 1 psych/english a day.

AND SOMEWHERE IN THERE I AM EXPECTED TO MEMORISE MY ENTIRE DETAILED STUDY. IN TWO WEEKS! IS MY JAPANESE TEACHER INSANE OR DOES SHE SERIOUSLY HAVE THAT MUCH FAITH IN US?????

I'm literally not leaving the house for the next 2 weeks, unless it's to go for a run. Because I SWEAR I will get fit these holidays........oh sorry, I mean study vacation =_____=

Time to go, I'm already lagging behind schedule :( here's some from the Jazz Soiree on Thursday night!

xo

i know, i know...

I've probably said this a thousand times all year, but the year is just going too fast :(

It hit me again today when I finished my final English SAC (YEAAHH!!), finished learning the entire Methods course (DOUBLE YEAAAHHH!!) and received our exam packs for Chem (...NOOOOooo)

UMM what the hell man, since when did I grow up so fast? The fact that I actually remember being in Year 7 looking up to the scary Year 12s just tells me how fast the last 6 years of high school have actually been...I mean, I'm EIGHTEEN now (yes it's taken 2 weeks to sink in) o_____o um, speaking of which...

so belated D: SORRY! ahh how i've neglected you blogspot...

So I guess it's time to persist just that liiiiittle big longer :( only 4 or 5ish school weeks left until I am well and truly no longer a high school student...

xo

eighteen

feels no different from 17 :)

Had a good day, despite school...the year 12s learnt a good chunk of the year 12 song, which made me really happy :D Shelby got everyone to sing happy birthday to me, which is always awkward but very sweet anyway haha

SO Jazz Soiree auditions sucked crap! Here I was feeling fairly confident until SURPRISE, you have to audition with microphones.

...oh no.

so yeah I can't speak for Diana but I thought both of us did pretty badly, but our band was amazing as always. Lesson learnt - I'll stick to the piano and not sing solo ever again hahaha

Had some present deliveries after school from Susan and Lisa :) Got a mimco bag/clutch from Susan and a filofax from Lisa...both pretty sick presents woo! Mum and Dad went out at 5ish to buy a woodfire for Saturday night, and it's AMAZING. Except that my clothes and hair smell like I'm burning and I only stood near it for 5 minutes D: VERY excited to partaaay!

xo

Scotch Formal 2010

xo

ANNUAL CONCERT 2010

IT WAAS AMAAAZINGGGG :D NO JOKE, BEST ANNUAL CONCERT EVER! (unfortunately can't post pics cos...uniform and stalkers and stuff yeahh...hahaha)

I'm SOOO proud of everyone who 1) voluntarily came and 2) performed :P I can't even describe the amazingness of it all, it just ran so smoothly and it was more of a...show rather than a formal concert

Marney McQueen is hilarious, she MC'd the night, and was in character as Rosa for the last part. She impromptu'd Nicola and me which was pretty stressful cos I suck at ad libbing, and Nicola's just always funny :) I was literally running around all night...no joke, I was in every item except for like..the staff choir. TOTALLY MY FAVOURITE THING OF THE NIGHT HAHA, PJU dancing aahhh...

I even got given flowers for the most random thing of doing some accompaniment that I'm pretty sure nobody could hear...but the flowers smell SOO good, mum loves them haha. When it was all over I held it in pretty well until Mrs Bryant hugged me and I started to tear up - what? LAST ONE EVER? NOO :(

(...I actually don't even know how to blog about this, I'm getting rusty)

xo

SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME ARGH

August is about to roll around and I'm about to have another hectic fortnight of 2010 :( So this week was the UMAT (section 3 fail) and last weekend was a million rehearsals for the concert...I've handed in no work at school and used the same excuse on every teacher (it's working!) and its making me feel really really guilty...

Chem SAC tomorrow...AAAND Jap exchange girls coming tomorrow! Meaning I'll get no work done this weekend AGAIN because we'll have to take them out, plus I have mooore rehearsals this Sunday.

So I guess I'll wing my English SAC on Monday/Tuesday?

THEN WEDNESDAY IS THE NIGHT OF THE BIG CONCERT! Which I'm yet to write my speech for.....

I might get a chance to breathe for an hour on Thursday night (Jap girls leave) then it's time for a GOOOOOD night sleep so I can have the energy to Scotch formal it up on Friday night :D which yeahh, I'm actually really looking forward to because I seriously need to relax right now AAAAAAARGGHHHH

xo

massive fail

I can officially say I've been to the worst party of my life.

Actually no...I take that back, it was so bad I can't even call it a "party"

SO basically it's ONE BIG MASSIVE BALL OF DISORGANISATION. By the looks of the facebook event, it looked like it was going to be amazing - nicely designed invitation, themed house party, 50 people, DJ and everything. On the morning of the "party", we suddenly got told it was now a BBQ near her house...okay fine, I can handle that. After Robyn's, I went to Lisa's to get dressed up and all of that and we decided just to show up for the house party (cos it was freezing haha).

We rock up to the house, knock on the door and this fobby girl in a bathrobe opens the door

"Hi, is Min there?"

"...umm...no such person exists. Sorry"

.......

So we call Min and she said she was still at the park, but she'll be there in 10

(which apparently means she won't be there for another hour)

Amanda, Lisa, Irene, Juls and I went for a maccas run, and we're joined by Viv, Eric, Steph Ian and Tamara...seriously, this was possibly the best part of the night. We call Min again and she said she'd call us when they get to the house...a while later and still no phone call, we decide to walk back to the house (whilst Ian drove the others back ahhaha)

We meet a whole bunch of confused and pissed off people in the driveway of the house, some people just sitting there drinking on the footpath (classy) and according to Leah, Min talked it out with someone in the house and they were allowed inside the shed only HAHAHA

Someone tried to light a fire, some asshole was going to put an adorable kitty in the fricken FREEZER, weird underage gangstas smoking and generally being disgusting...omg mann! The thing is, I'm not upset that the "party" was an absolute fail on all counts, I'm just more pissed at the fact that Min didn't even have the to decency to call us to tell us what was going on, NOR did she even greet us properly or explain anything when we got there. The only thing she said to me was "Why didn't you come to the park?" (cos you said you'd call us) and "HAVE A SPARKLER, JUST TAKE A SPARKLER!". Like COME ON, we're meant to be your "closest" friends! It got me pretty angry when some total randoms saw us and went "Whoa, MORE people?" ...UM YEAH WE'RE WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??

What crappy organisation =__= I was feeling sorry for her cos it was her 18th party, but honestly...she's had ages to plan it, its not like she has no money, stop expect others to do things for her/be okay with her random last minute plans and BASICALLY she brought it upon herself. SO WHATEVER *rage*. School should be interesting now huh...

Aph was just like "just go home. this is a fricken waste of time" so they bailed, Lisa took some people back to her place, and I crammed into Ian's car and we ended up at Viv's house...UM WHICH WAS SO MUCH BETTER =__=

We may not have a DJ, a million people and trashy drinks but we got uno (extreeeme), tim tams, the wii and gossip ! (and the abswing)

xo

primary school reunion !

So. Bizarre.

It was pretty fun actually, I dragged 2 of my best mates from primary school to go with me (both were dreading it) and on the inside I thought it would be seriously awkward...

And okay, there was *some* awkwardness for Steph and me because we left in year 3&4...I remembered everyone but people looked at us without seeming to know who we were so we just didn't say anything LOL

To the half of the 40ish people who did remember me, it was really good seeing them :D Spent most of the time talking to Olivia and Tiffany, exchanging hilarious memories/stories, ohhh mannn so much laughter! I definately didn't know the guy sitting opposite me (..Jay? err) cos I had already left school, but it was strange how we barely spoke and he added me on facebook =/

Also really funny when people remember the most random things...James was like HEY you're the girl who can say the alphabet backwards! Well....yes, but HAHAHA WHAT A RANDOM THING TO REMEMBER?

Most people haven't changed at all...Kathy came alllll the way down from Koo Wee Rup (yeah where the hell is that?) in the country and she was soo cute cos she was nervous haha. Didn't get to say hey to the twins either but it didn't look like they recognised me anyway :( Vaguely said hi to 2 of my really good friends back then, but we're all soooo different now that there wasn't much conversation...but at the same time, none of us have changed that much. I guess friendship is just way easier when you're 10 years old :)

xo

fire in melbourne central

SOO my day's all messed up now...Lisa, Juls and I set out to watch Karate Kid today (cheap Tuesday woo!), and whilst lining up for tickets, there was some weird burning smell but we ignored it and went into the cinemas

20 minutes into the movie, the film suddenly blacked out and the sound like...slow-mo'd to a stop, lights went up and some dude came in to evacuate us all out =/ it was pretty crazy the amount of people just FLOODING down the escalators. I saw a few firemen so I assume it was a fire (and yeah, apparently a fire in the kitchen of Groove)...

The guy said we'd all get a refund blahblahblah but COME ON, I hauled my ass all the way to the city to do absolutely nothing! Like I'd come back tomorrow all over again...hrrmph. I'll get that refund hopefully next week...imagine how much it would suck if you were 10 minutes away from the end of your movie, or at the REALLY exciting part and they stopped the film ohhh man...I guess I'm thankful we were only 20 minutes in :)

xo